


We Really Are There, Brother

by NorthwesternInsanity



Category: Def Leppard, Music RPF
Genre: Alcoholism, Angst, Brothers, Depression, Drama, Fear, Gen, Loss, Slow Death, Slowly deteriorating, band brothers, failed emotional hurt/comfort, heart wrenching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 10:48:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12057414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NorthwesternInsanity/pseuds/NorthwesternInsanity
Summary: Sav's thoughts watching Steve becoming very ill and deteriorating during the last year of his life





	We Really Are There, Brother

Stephen Maynard Clark... My brother -probably one of my closest brothers outside of blood relation who I know best with the exception of Joe.

Please, mate, hang in there. We're all here for you, never have not been. Even when we're not physically with you, any of us -myself, Joe, Rick, and of course Phil, who would be the first to answer as soon as he heard -are just a phone call away.

We want you to get better, Steve. I understand you hate being shut up in that rehab place, and it hurts to see you there too. If you let us help you, we could help you get out of this mess outside of there -and we'd all be happier. But you just can't stick to it.

You're trapped in so much darkness, in a hole of darkness you can't climb out of. Here we are in the back of Phil's car, and you're clinging to me, sobbing your eyes out like a child that's witnessed the death of the loyal family dog. You're heartbroken, scared, you don't know what's going to happen, and you think you're alone, because you're terrified we're all mad at you.

I never realized how relevant our slightly lesser hit on Pyromania would become lyric wise for you... _Is anybody out there? Anybody there? Does anybody wonder? Anybody care?_ I can see that weird ass video in my head, only now it's you suspended from that triangle thing, struggling to break free, but trapped so helplessly.

But Steve, what you don't realize is that you're not alone, because inside me, I'm sobbing over that figurative family dog too, and it's all I can physically do to keep from doing so externally. If I were to do it, you would think it was because you let us down, not because we're all feeling the pain with you. We're not mad at all, we're just as scared as you are, and I wish you could see it. _Yes, Steve... We are really there, and we care even though you can't see that we do._

And as time passes, night after night of these similar events, I feel us all drifting apart, and I dream uneasily at night -situations where all of a sudden, the brother we know and love is no longer our brother. He's changed so much that he's unrecognizable as the shy but fun loving, caring guitarist with the kindest soul in the world who could all of a sudden break out into a wild frenzy of talent with a guitar. And I wake up, fighting to keep from making a spectacle of myself by crying like a fool, and having to tell myself that you're still there and still our brother, that it's not real...

But every day, it's harder and harder to convince myself it's not real.

Because slowly, it is becoming real. You're becoming that nightmarish image of this lifeless shell of yourself.

It hurts so much Steve, honestly, to see you become that, because I am slowly recognizing what it ultimately means.

And I can't bear to lose you, Steve.

I can't bear losing my brother.

**Author's Note:**

> Another old fic. This one I wrote whilst in the middle of a panic attack and experiencing some overwhelmingly painful emotions, so it may seem disjointed -but fits what Sav is portrayed to feel.


End file.
